you know what would be a fun game?
strip flappy bird.
every time you die you have to take off an article of clothing.
we’ll all be fucking by Valentines Day
you’er welcome tumblr
do you ever sit there and work out the age difference between you and the celebrity you’re in love with and try to explain to yourself that 10 years isn’t THAT MUCH
Or 30 years. Ya know. Cause men age like fine wine.
I was half asleep, and in the dream I was at a bar. And he was hitting on me, using all these terrible lines. And I told him I hadn’t had sex in awhile. And he went “Dry spell, huh? That’s okay. I’m pretty sure the forecast called for rain tonight.” And I looked him in the eye and went “Oh yeah? How many inches should I be expecting?” And the part of me that was awake laughed so hard, it woke me up.
Even in my subconscious, I’m a smooth motherfucker.